All right, I admit it. I’ve been a bad blogger. I’m not worthy of the newly-minted name ‘citizen journalist’, so beloved by the likes of Ariella Huffington. In fact, if I had an editor, he/she would be kicking my arse. But, you see, the thing is, I’ve been really, really busy.
No, honestly. I have. Flat out. It’s actually quite weird that right now, when things are going to pieces all over the planet, I’m the busiest I’ve been in my nearly 15 years of freelancing. And it’s not like I was picky in the past. I’ve been trying to sell out for years, but no-one’s been buying. Until now…
That’s right. With the economy in the crapper and deep uncertainty breaking round, I’m faced with a deadly barrage of gainful employment. And it’s not just me. Many of friends are also enjoying heavy workloads. It’s a freaking nightmare!
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m deeply grateful that I’m busy. I know there are many people out there who really feeling the pinch, and would love some extra work. Being a rather contrary person, however, I’m also feeling somewhat resentful.
I was enjoying my days of semi-productive indolence; waking up late, walking the dogs, writing at my own pace with very few interruptions (or pay cheques). Life was pretty sweet.
Then, like the proverbial British busses, three jobs came along all at once and now I’m swamped. My stress levels are up, my sleep levels are down and my eyelid is twitching, as it does when I’m anxious. Even my TV watching is starting to suffer. I’ve always said that life is either flood or famine. There’s never a happy balance.
So that’s why I’ve been neglecting my blog. As excuses go, it’s only slightly better than a homework-eating dog or a faulty alarm clock. But it’s true. I hope to do better going forward, but I am still in the thick of it and I don’t want to sink to the level of dashing off a ‘today I went to the shops’ blog. Oh no. I want only the best for my fan. I want to be witty and trenchant and lucid. I want to be a ‘blogeur’, if you please.
Because, as racing driver Jackie Stewart said on an episode of Top Gear (which I never miss), “you don’t want to put your foot on the gas unless you know that you don’t have to take it off”. And that sounds like a pretty good approach to life as a whole. IMHO.
[Originally posted 03/08/2008]